I’ll gladly answer this question towards the end of this blog. The best illustration I’ve come across to prove my answer is from an excerpt from Meg Whitman’s book “The Power of Many” I recently read in More magazine. After I read it, I just shook my head and thought: “I have a lot of work to do!”
I have been asked so many times about being a woman in a man’s world, and about how I dealt with sexism in the workplace. My short answer is that mostly I just focused on delivering results...Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Be who you are, but don’t be too quick to take offense...One of the funniest experiences I ever had was in 2000, the first time I attended what has become a very famous meeting for CEO’s, politicians, philanthropists, and investors in Sun Valley, Idaho. It’s called the Allen & Co. Conference. There are a lot of very interesting individuals from business and other fields who attend: Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, Rubert Murdoch, the Google guys, host Herbert Allen. It’s a remarkable group, and I always learn a lot from both private conversations and the various panel discussions. But just like at every other conference on the planet, whether with florists or toy executives or statesmen, you get the same awkward moments and social faux pas...
The very first year I attended, I did not arrive in time for the opening night events, so my first party was the second-day cocktail party. Spouses are invited to the conference, but Griff could not join me until later in the week. I entered the room and didn’t see anyone I knew, so I did what you do in these situations, I walked up to the first group I saw and said hello. I said my name, and the three or four men standing their said theirs. Most of them were businesspeople.
The man to my right, however, was a prominent California politician at the time. He smiled and introduced himself and asked me, “And who are you married to?” I could see that the other men knew who I was, and they winced slightly.
“His name is Griff Harsh,” I replied, smiling.
“And what does he do?” was the politician’s reply.
“He’s a neurosurgeon,” I answered, still smiling.
He turned to the other men he had been talking to and demanded, “Since when are doctors invited to this thing?” I watched the other guys try to signal him with raised eyebrows that he should stop.
“Actually he’s not here,” I said, watching him slowly become aware that he had put his foot into it. I finally bailed him out. “Oh, there’s no reason you should have known,” I said. “I’m the president and CEO of eBay.”
He then emitted a strange sound, sort of like those underwater recordings of whales singing to each other. Then he threw his head back and searched the heavens for a tractor beam to take him away. I still laugh at this memory. People are always amzazed I didn’t get mad and set him straight. But it was so much more fun to watch this play out. As Mrs. Roosevelt said, carry on in the face of insult and you’ll usually triumph.
The glass ceiling will continue to exist as long as leaders continue to put people in categories and make ill assumptions. What I loved most about this story is not just that it best illustrated this struggle, but how classy Meg Whitman handled herself. Thoughtful, forgiving, and very ladylike.
