Soft addictions. Sounds harmless, almost inviting. But they can have a devastating effect on your life if you allow them to get out of control. So what exactly are they? Soft addictions are defined as “those seemingly harmless habits that actually keep us from the life we want. They cost us money, rob us of time, numb us from our feelings, mute our consciousness, and drain our energy.” And we all have them, according to Judith Wright, author of “The Soft Addiction Solution”. Below are some examples of soft addictions. I challenge you to ask yourself, “What else could I do with this time?”
Watching TV: Do you ever find yourself watching a rerun of Law & Order just because there is nothing else on? Ask yourself how many times a day, or week do you do this, and then add up the hours. Think of alternative activities you could be doing instead. Perhaps dedicate at least one night to family.
Surfing the Internet: I do a lot of research on-line, however I periodically find myself drifting to check out Twitter and Facebook. I know I shouldn’t do this as often as I do. I have a friend who is a little more disciplined. He only checks his social media sites twice a day. Could you do that?
IM/Texting: Texting is great for quick updates. But are you using it to have full conversations? If it takes more than 3 messages, perhaps you should pick up the phone, or send one complete email with the details.
Shopping: Some of us love it and some of us, not so much. Fortunately for my bank account, I’m not a big fan. But some people use shopping as a means of escape, not realizing that their window shopping habit not only eats away at their time, but also puts a significant dent in their wallet. If this is you, consider using only cash for those unexpected purchases. That way when you run out, your finished for the day. Also ask yourself if there are particular times you go shopping more than others: when your frustrated, or lonely, and try to fill the void with a more healthy and less expensive activity.
Overworking: Before I started my own company I had to create a rule to ensure I wasn’t working all the time. It was two simple rules, but it made a big impact both on my productivity and peace at home. 1) I never took work home; 2) I never worked on Sunday. If there was a lot of work to complete, then I stayed in the office until it was done. This ensured I made my days productive. Not only do I view Sunday as the Sabbath, as a hardworking person, I realize I need a complete day off in order to rejuvenate.
Video/Computer Games: Personally this has never been a problem for me. Video games bore me, unless it is The TravelPod’s Traveler IQ Challenge....now that I could play for hours! But at least I’m learning something. Studies have shown that a “healthy” amount of video game playing can be good for dexterity, and eye/hand coordination. But if played for too long, it can zap too much of your time and create other problems. The biggest one being a lack in good social skills. If the sun is out, go out and do something fun. Reserve the video playing for those times when there truly is nothing else to do.
Coffee: I know I could never take the advice to get off coffee completely, so I would never give it. However, I have seen how being addicted can make me do things I wouldn’t normally do (Like drive in a rain storm just to get my fix!). Ween yourself off slowly, and perhaps on your off days drink decaf. I know when I travel I try not to habitually drink my “drug of choice” and now drink it more as a treat on the weekends I’m home.
PDA/Blackberry/Constantly checking email: I know these tools are great and really help ease the stress of reading and responding to emails when you get back to the office or home. But if you just checked your message 3 minutes ago....are you really expecting something so important that couldn’t wait for in an hour? Do you honestly know how rude you look when you divide your attention between your iPhone and the people you are talking to? Try to determine some set times during the day you’ll check your messages.
Daydreaming: Some of my best ideas have come from daydreaming, so I don’t consider this a bad thing. What’s important is ensuring it doesn’t get out of hand and make you unproductive. Look at your “to do” list and make sure you have enough on there AND that you are marking them off the list. If you’re daydreaming too much, then your “to do” list isn’t getting done.
Complaining: Does this really do any good? It’s important sometimes to vent or let it be known something will not work, but constant complaining is a waste of time, energy, and you never really feel good while doing it. I’m not suggesting anyone look through the world with rose colored glasses, but try to find the positive and the good in everything. Look harder...it is there!
Gossiping: I always like what my mother said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” And I still follow this rule (well, 99% of the time). It does help me know when to keep my mouth shut! If you don’t have all the facts, and what you’re about to say isn’t very nice about another person, then be quite!!
Procrastinating: Sometimes this can be a good thing. Better ideas can come when you’re pressured for time. But if you find you’re missing deadlines, or getting physically stressed over coming too close to not making deadlines, it’s time to evaluate your timeline. Start with the end in mind. Work backwards to better understand not just the final deadline, but all the other factors necessary before the deadline.
Overeating: Women are the worst at this. We eat because we’re bored, stressed, or emotional. Over time the weight creeps up on us and we wake up one day and ask “where did that fat arm come from??” If weight is an issue, try an eating journal. This will force you to really think about everything you put in your mouth. Find another activity instead of eating. Walking or talking to a friend adds no calories. At a minimum, make sure your snacking is healthy
Cellphone usage: Same comments as with the texting. As a society, we’re getting away from building real relationships. Are you using your cell phone as a quick follow up or emergency call, or are you using it for all your relationships instead of getting together with that friend for coffee or lunch? Think about it.
